Twin Flame

Laying in the lul

Of the sunlit bed

You’re sprawled out

On the shore of my mind

I’ve learned to walk the world of dreams

To see your face

Among the crowds of my waking life

Reality has blurred itself

To bend through time

We exist on many planes

For now I’ll stay still

Enjoying these uncaptured moments

JOAW: Fate

It was Friday night, finally after what felt like a week of robotic emotion that seemed to drag on and on. I was looking forward to spending some time alone. Maybe do some psychedelics, read a book, and listen to the new Sigur Ros album.

Though, that night I was on my way into the city to meet with some friends. It was open mic night at the Music Club downtown. I couldn’t help but feel anxious, and it wasn’t because Shea was going to be there to yet blow me away again with her beauty.

There was something else happening, I could feel it in my veins. I looked up at the sky, even though I knew it wasn’t a full moon, I thought I’d check to be sure.

I suddenly felt this jerking pain in my neck, that forced me to look to my left.

There she was.

The girl from the dream I’d been having for the last couple of months.

It was a red light ahead and traffic had slowed down, so I slowed to a creep and followed her with my eyes.

I could tell she knew I was there. She was walking briskly, head down with her hood up, but her head slightly tilted in my direction.

It was more like she was listening than watching.

I rolled down my window, and the crisp air made me shudder. She sped up, then stopped at the crosswalk ahead.

The light turned green and the traffic began to move. I sped up, eyes still fixed on her. The guy behind me layed on his horn, startling me, and her.

I haven’t taken my eyes off of her, she looked up at me. Staring right at me, she began to cross the street. As soon as our eyes locked, I pressed my foot down on the gas.

I could see the silver glow in her eyes and her soft purple aura.

She got to the middle of the street and stopped dead in my tracks, turning to face me with her body.

At this point I was already speeding. I pressed the pedal to the floor as if I was planning on driving through a brick wall.

I hit her. She rolled up the hood, smashing the windshield, over the top, and landed on the ground behind me.

I hammered the brakes and got out immediately. People around me we staring, shocked. I could see some were already videotaping me and taking pictures.

Two guys started running towards her and I screamed, “Back off”! Glaring my silver eyes. They backed off.

I walked over to her and picked her up in my arms. She pressed her lips to my ear and whispered, “Thank you”.

I turned around to walk back to the car and heard a voice out of all the commotion.

“Stop”!

“You, with the girl, freeze”!

I paused before turning around. It was a police officer.

I stared into his eyes with mine and he stumbled, taking a few steps back. He raised his gun again, pointed at me and yelled, “I said freeze! Put the girl down”!

I turned back to the car and opened the back door and said calmly,

“Sorry officer, I can’t do that”.

“Don’t make me shoot”, he said with a tremble in his voice

“Don’t make me disappoint you”, I replied”.

“There is something I must do”.

Have you ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed, lost in a haze of anxiety?

Or trapped in a mood of blues and solitude?

Have you ever stopped and realized that never before have you experienced this moment?

You can give yourself somewhat of a break because it is true. You know nothing of the moment.

The moment presents itself to you however it may please, and there is nothing you know about it.

You may feel that you have been here before. You may feel you have read these words once already.

You have and you have not, you see.

Both realities are true. There is a reality where you have not read these words.

But if you think about it long enough, you would say,

“I have been here before”.

And it is true. You have been here before, and you are here now. In many different forms.

“What is reality”?

What is it?

Is the reality of outward existence the sum of an intricate mechanism of the cosmos?

Is the reality we perceive just a hallucination, a hypnotic state, formed by the neurological systems of our mind?

Is reality the artistic working of a brilliant mind, or minds? What is a mind?

Could reality be a hoax like the realities created by Darren Brown? Who is Darren Brown?

The answer is yes.

Reality bends to the will of its creator.

You are the creator. We are creators of worlds.

Have you ever thought about your being as a quantum existence?

What happens when you go to sleep and never wake up?

Or, as Alan Watts puts it, “To have woken up and never have gone to sleep”.

Have you ever pondered what quantum implications your being has created, or will create, just simply by existing?

Try it. It is a next level of anxiety. Haha!

Of course, you will eventually come to the conclusion that ultimately, there is nothing, absolutely nothing you can do about it. Which comes as a relief.

So now that you know this, what are you going to do about it? Haha!

You see, when you are born, and take that first breath, you are forced into a perpetual motion which accelerates without hesitation, and you have no control of it whatsoever!

So, what is reality? It is unspeakable.

Reality has not happened yet.

“What is the truth”?

Who is asking?

You are.

I am skeptical of any existence that is outside of my immediate connection of the objective reality.

I believe everyone carries around with them, a piece of the truth.

Now, how does one find the whole, pure truth?

You might say, well, science is about proving the truth.

Who is to say that only that of which we perceive as humans can be true?

Well, now you might say religion aims to answer this more abstract truth.

But this here brings me back to being skeptical. I cannot accept religion for more than just a version of the truth.

So how does one find the whole, pure truth?

One cannot find the truth alone, for all of us carry the truth, and only together will we find it.

The fog in my mind has left me confused, torn, and lost within myself.

It’s like a glazed pain of solitude within my mind itself. Not a physical pain, or hurt, but a numbness. Emptiness where only true emotion once lived, and loved.

Definitely not as strong as I once was. I was somewhat of a warrior of emotion, and poet of other worlds. I could flow with the air around me, and breathe throughout the Earth beneath my feet.

I’ve reached a point in my life where my soul has become damaged, withered by life, and time. My soul has lost its strength to oversee my mind. My mind that is torn by the dualities of my very nature.

I know that I will pull through. I know because I will. The same time that has maimed my soul, will be the same time that heals.

This cloud of poison will release from my mind, and once again, my vision will return.

Keep your sight true, and your vision clear.