Well, the time is almost here. I’m about to become a father.
I try not to think about it too much because I find it quite engrossing.
Though here I am, thinking about it. Wondering mostly. I wonder things like what will he find interesting, my son? What will be the colour of his eyes? What will he think of the role models in my life? I wonder what he will think of life? What music he will like? What type of thinker he will become? What will his learning style be like? Most importantly, will he like unicycles?
I am excited to become a father for many reasons.
Not only will it be beautiful to watch life unfold in front of me, I also get a chance to find the child again within myself.
I think it is fairly common for people to “grow up” and forget the child within them. It has definitely happened to me to some extent.
To find that silliness in life again is a gift of the gods.
I am excited to see his first smile and hear his first laugh. I am excited to watch him walk, fall, and get back up. I am excited to hold him when he cries. I am excited to wipe his tears. I am excited to read to him. I am excited to hold his hand when we go for walks. I am excited to listen to him speak and I am excited to hear what he has to say.
Not so much looking forward to getting pooped, peed, and puked on!
I used to tell people I never wanted to get married and that I never wanted kids. It was just not true. I was afraid to reveal my true self to other people. Being younger, I wanted to seem impenetrable, unbreakable, a never aging gargoyle that sits above, watching life happen around me, though never to me.
I was missing a piece of this puzzle that we all try to complete. I don’t think it can ever be completed, though you sure can stumble upon new pieces. It is important to keep an open mind in life. To view life from all perspectives if possible. To understand life and the cosmic connections between it all.
When we are born, we are without control, tossed into a perpetually accelerating growth. We are tossed into a world that tries to consume us. We are taught that individuality is important and that we must stand up for ourselves. What most fail to mention is that while we may seem to be one, we are actually many. What we need to learn is that you have a choice. You can become consumed by life, or you may consume life itself.
Everyone must understand the concept of yin and yang by now? More importantly, you must understand the consequence of action and significance or meaning of synchronicities in life. To be able to remove yourself from your perspective is necessary in understanding these things.
I can preach ways of accomplishing this, but I won’t. There are so many people out there that have sworn that they have found the answer, but it just isn’t true. The truth is you need to be able to do two things. You need to be able to look inside yourself, and understand what you see and feel. You also need to be able to look outside of yourself and understand what you see and feel.
So here I am, ready to welcome this bundle of life into the world.
I am excited for what he will teach me.